Overcoming Disappointment


The moment you look forward to something and trust with all your heart and might, you even boycott all other possible options, and not want to for a second doubt that that which you are expecting or want soon enough is going to happen, and then it unfortunately turns out not to happen, that is an acute case of disappointment. Disappointment occurs when one trustingly and hopefully believes in the coming to pass of something, and the opposite is the case. One disappoints another, when you probably gave them your word on something and it turns out you don’t eventually go through with that, which you had earlier said, much to the sadness of the parties involved. Disappointment is an all time pit low on anyone’s life. It is accompanied with sadness, tears, heartbreak, pain, thinking, and even sometimes depression. Like I wrote earlier, until one actually goes through this baggage of life, before one realizes that this emotion has actually been underated for a long time.
A lot of people don’t even know when they are faced with disappointments. It is a quick shrug off for some, as people tend to not want to trust anyone, so they in turn do not get disappointed. It is like they are guarding their hearts from the pain of disappointment even before it occurs and so they try as much as possible to be aloof to the emotion of believing in someone else, so as to cushion their fall, (when they fall), from the high roll of promises not kept or fulfilled on the part of others to them. They shield their hearts even before the battleground requires that of them, hence the sayings ‘never trust anyone’, ‘trust only yourself’, ‘don’t even trust your family’, and I’m not in anyway countering all these sayings, but what about the really true statement of ‘I know you cannot trust nobody, but you have to trust someone’, now that’s deep, but just follow me.
Yes, it is enough to say, that you decide not to trust in anybody but yourself, but that will require you being conscious of not trusting anybody at all. It will require a real effort on your path. You will have to remind yourself of that every single time and moment you are faced with different decision makings, which is, news flash, usually everyday and most times for people who are outgoing for example in the business world, at job settings, which are for everyday people like you and I. Now that can be stressful just thinking about it and for those that can easily pull that off,  they are undoubtedly characterized to be not necessarily opened, but could be secretive, and there will always be that emotional aspect of their life that they just can’t share with anyone else. Meanwhile, they could easily not have that emotional baggage all the time if they could share that with someone, even if it is just one person.
You tend to feel good when you can talk to that one person about everything and anything. You feel much lighter, and you can just rant and he/she is ready to listen, and you guys cry, hug, laugh over it and you feel so much better. Without you even knowing, all this won’t be possible if you do not trust that person. So it is safe to say that you really can’t go without trusting someone. Now what happens when that one person you wholeheartedley trust disappoints you? Your hard earned built up trust in this person or relatives is soiled and you do not see any turning back for you now? You simply put feet, neck, leg and body into this pit of disappointment? What do you do? How do you get out of this? Will you ever pull through? How do you overcome it?
Well from experience, hence you can really take my word for it and since it worked for me, it definitely will work for you, is that you have got to react. Reaction is very key. That is if you want to be angry at that person, please do just that. If you would like to scream at that person, go right ahead, however you want to express your outmost outburst at that moment, go right ahead. The options here include you ranting about it, a long phone call to that person expressing your exact thought of him/her at that moment, you could cry, shout, barge out angrily, whatever. All I am trying to say is that at this particular time, all these emotions, though may raise an eyebrow to your normal you, are perfectly alright for dealing with disappointment at that point in time. It is unhealthy to not react or to bottle it up in, because then on it becomes a poison to one’s mind against the second party, and one would not in anyway want to move on from that or ever see reasons to heal properly or trust another person in the future.
Now the moment you do just that, that is react in however way you deem fit(just please don’t hurt yourself), you then on calm the heck down. Calm down bro, sit down puhlease sis, it’s not the end of the world, at least not yet. You should give yourself space from that person(that is the disapponter stricken fellow, SMH!). You just take a quick breathe and it could also count as you walking away, at that particular time from such a situation. Now it does not mean you are running away or anything, you are simply leaving to go gather your thoughts and make a sensible next line of action. For me, I offed my phone for a couple of hours and had a long(not necessarily comfortable) nap. Woke up, still a bit teary eyed and then I did what I usually do to move away from something or feel a little better, I wrote this piece.
For you, writing might not be your go-to-feel-better-stufff. For some people it could be listening to music, taking a stroll out, watching a movie,  just anything to take your mind off that annoying ‘D’ (yup, disappointment).
So from here onwards, what next? By this time you start to consider your other options. I mean think about it, you had wholeheartedley trusted this one person or group for something and in the process, closed off all other options and doors, and just chose to not see other options because you wanted to believe in that one person and it’s so not your fault either ways, but because you are strong and not going to let that put you down for long, you can now see clearly other choices and options, or see other people and you know what you can now take a chance on them and it can now even work out much better now and all will be well again. Just stay positive and open minded.
Finally, you address your disappointment face on. You talk to whoever disappointed you at your convenience and just try to know why they did it. Sometimes they would try reaching out to you, and it’s actually advisable that you try and hear them out. Listen to them. Sometimes their reasons may be valid and even one that you can relate with, if you are a very understanding person, and some other times it can just be plain crappy, and then on you should know how to be my more careful with that person from then on, but the truth be told you will be fine and much better, pulling out from that disappointment of theirs.
So I am out rightly now saying that it is still very alright to trust that one person, don’t be scared about it. No one is perfect and they can be prone to mistakes and unintentionally hurt you, but neither are we, the ones that receive their shortcomings for the main time and so let’s forgive them and look on to better things to come, because we are true overcomers in Christ- Jesus.
Written by: Yenni Kehilah Joe

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