What You Are Not by Yennie Keilah Joe


In a society where individuals are naturally grouped into different classes, where there are the high class (rich), middle class (moderate income earners) and the low class (poor). The ever unending need to be better than one already is, the usual ‘get- money quick’ and false money – multiplying schemes. The array displays of flamboyant lifestyles on social media, with followers naturally wanting a taste of such luxury. It only pushes one to do things that are way above one’s power or means, and while there may be some good in that, the bad and the ugly, also lurks not too far away.

It’s only natural to be exposed to all the above listed here, this is because by just a click on one’s technologically handled equipment such as phones, laptops, palmtops etc, and even just watching television in one’s living room, endless scenarios of serious luxury and huge lifestyles are always on display. It only hurts or affects us more when those who are in such shoes, are perhaps our age mates, or people we feel we can relate to, either in our age group, religion, beliefs, tribe etc. We spite our present situation and position in life and crave for more, or in extreme cases, the kind of lifestyle we see. Knowing fully well that, you may not be able to achieve such, you still work really hard to get there, or in some cases end up doing unimaginable and evil things, just to get or accommodate such good things for oneself.

In another case scenario, young people trying to be what they are not and fit in peer groups of people who live way above one’s eyes reality. Having being brought up in more wealthier and par a venture, spoilt backgrounds, another individual, from a more modest and disciplined home, all in the name of ‘fitting in’, decides to relate and roll with the rather cool kids, much to such a person’s detriment and peace of mind. It never goes well for one, and usually he/she gets hurts in the process, make the wrong decisions and live a rather regretful life, all steaming from trying to be what one’s not, in order to fit in or make more friends, or feel welcome and perhaps get liked by all and sundry.

I would like to ask that, who says fitting in and blending in, is the new cool? What will one do with so many friends, that you can’t even count on them all or know the genuine ones? What is the guarantee that by accumulating so much wealth and luxury, one will find total and complete happiness? These are questions that needs to be answered, before one pulls the carpet under one’s leg, and loose your true self while in the process of pursuing what not.

Like I always like to say, don’t fit, always stand out. Don’t blend in with others and try to pretend to be who you are not, just to make them feel happy, at the expense of your true self and happiness, that in all honesty is a recipe for disaster. You will never feel accomplished and that is really not what you want. Having so many friends all at once, trust me, can be tasking, as a true friend, you would want to be there for all of them at once, and that’s not even possible! So how about you tally your friends, down a notch, to the few and true ones you can completely vouch for and be your complete self with, hence, a less a stressful situation for all involved.

Wealth is definitely a quality we would all want to have, and grow in, but not the deceptive, or ill- gotten ones, or worse still the borrowing and loaning lifestyle all to meet up certain unrealistic standards, one has to set for one’s self. What! Who does that anymore?!

All in all, live within your means, choose your companions wisely, and above all, be yourself at all times. I still care.


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